When The Past Is Present Healing The Emotional Wounds That Sabotage Our Relationships Book PDF, EPUB Download & Read Online Free

When the Past Is Present

When the Past Is Present

Author: David Richo
Publisher: Shambhala Publications
ISBN: 0834823179
Pages: 224
Year: 2008-07-22
In this book, psychotherapist David Richo explores how we replay the past in our present-day relationships—and how we can free ourselves from this destructive pattern. We all have a tendency to transfer potent feelings, needs, expectations, and beliefs from childhood or from former relationships onto the people in our daily lives, whether they are our intimate partners, friends, or acquaintances. When the Past Is Present helps us to become more aware of the ways we slip into the past so that we can identify our emotional baggage and take steps to unpack it and put it where it belongs. Drawing on decades of experience as a psychotherapist, Richo helps readers to: • Understand how the wounds of childhood become exposed in adult relationships—and why this is a gift • Identify and heal the emotional wounds we carry over from the past so that they won't sabotage present-day relationships • Recognize how strong attractions and aversions to people in the present can be signals of own own unfinished business • Use mindfulness to stay in the present moment and cultivate authentic intimacy
Daring to Trust

Daring to Trust

Author: David Richo
Publisher: Shambhala Publications
ISBN: 1590309243
Pages: 211
Year: 2011
Explores the human ability to trust, and argues that people must develop trust in four directions, including toward themselves, toward others, toward life as it is, and toward a higher power or spiritual path in order to maintain healthy relationships and experience emotional well-being.
When the Past Is Always Present

When the Past Is Always Present

Author: Ronald A. Ruden
Publisher: Routledge
ISBN: 1135271763
Pages: 232
Year: 2011-04-27
When the Past Is Always Present: Emotional Traumatization, Causes, and Cures introduces several new ideas about trauma and trauma treatment. The first of these is that another way to treat disorders arising from the mind/brain may be to use the senses. This idea, which is at the core of psychosensory therapy, forms what the author considers the "third pillar" of trauma treatment (the first and second pillars being psychotherapy and psychopharmacology). Psychosensory therapy postulates that sensory input—for example, touch—creates extrasensory activity that alters brain function and the way we respond to stimuli. The second idea presented in this book is that traumatization is encoded in the amygdala only under special circumstances. Thus, by understanding what makes an individual resistant to traumatization we can offer a way of preventing it. The third idea is that traumatization occurs because we cannot find a haven during the event. This is the cornerstone of havening, the particular form of psychosensory therapy described in the book. Using evolutionary biological principles and recently published neuroscientific studies, this book outlines in detail how havening touch de-links the emotional experience from a trauma, essentially making it just an ordinary memory. Once done, the event no longer causes distress.
How to Be an Adult

How to Be an Adult

Author: David Richo
Publisher: Paulist Press
ISBN: 1616433558
Pages: 86
Year: 2014-05-14
Using the metaphor of the heroic journeydeparture, struggle and returnthe author shows readers the way to psychological and spiritual health.
When Love Meets Fear

When Love Meets Fear

Author: David Richo
Publisher: Paulist Press
ISBN: 1616430664
Pages: 129
Year: 2014-05-14
The author of the bestselling "How to Be an Adult" explains in his characteristic popular style how fear can cripple our ability to take risks in life and how it can be overcome by love. He looks at the deepest roots of fear and suggests practical ways to escape from fear.
Shadow Dance

Shadow Dance

Author: David Richo
Publisher: Shambhala Publications
ISBN: 0834822911
Pages: 336
Year: 1999-05-11
Our "shadow" is the collection of negative or undesirable traits we keep hidden—the things we don't like about ourselves or are afraid to admit: egotist, non-"PC" proclivities, forbidden sexual desires. But it also includes our positive, untapped potential—qualities we may admire in others but disavow in ourselves. Befriending the shadow makes fear an ally and enables us to live more authentically. It also automatically improves our interpersonal relationships, because we are freed from the need to project our own negativity onto others, and we become more acutely aware when theirs is projected onto us. David Richo looks for where the shadow manifests in personal life, family interaction, religion, relationship, and the world around is. He shows how to use the gentle practice of mindfulness to work with our shadow side, and he provides numerous exercises for going deeper. He is remarkably skillful at making the shadow concept not only easy to understand, but supremely practical for enhancing the quality of our lives.
How to Be an Adult in Relationships

How to Be an Adult in Relationships

Author: David Richo
Publisher: Shambhala Publications
ISBN: 0834821036
Pages: 240
Year: 2002-06-18
"Most people think of love as a feeling," says David Richo, "but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present." In this book, Richo offers a fresh perspective on love and relationships—one that focuses not on finding an ideal mate, but on becoming a more loving and realistic person. Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness, How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships throughout life: 1. Attention to the present moment; observing, listening, and noticing all the feelings at play in our relationships. 2. Acceptance of ourselves and others just as we are. 3. Appreciation of all our gifts, our limits, our longings, and our poignant human predicament. 4. Affection shown through holding and touching in respectful ways. 5. Allowing life and love to be just as they are, with all their ecstasy and ache, without trying to take control. When deeply understood and applied, these five simple concepts—what Richo calls the five A's—form the basis of mature love. They help us to move away from judgment, fear, and blame to a position of openness, compassion, and realism about life and relationships. By giving and receiving these five A's, relationships become deeper and more meaningful, and they become a ground for personal transformation.
Deal Breakers

Deal Breakers

Author: DR. BETHANY MARSHALL
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1471103005
Pages: 224
Year: 2012-12-11
Deciding when to work on a relationship and when to walk away is a skill that can prevent us wasting months and even years of our lives on partners that will never make us truly happy. Once we have learned to identify the deal breaker in a relationship we can empower ourselves to action, and then change and improve our lives. Whereas books like 'He's Just Not That Into You' explored relationship troubles in black and white, 'Deal Breakers' covers all the shades of grey that lie in between - all those areas where relationships can hit an impasse. Some deal breakers are easy to identify - one partner wants marriage, the other doesn't - yet many are more subtle and difficult to pinpoint. Dr Bethany Marshall is a relationships expert. She has identified specific male archetypes and the traits that frustrate and infuriate their partners. Here, for the first time in book form, is advice that can help any woman who is trying too hard to make her relationship work.
When Your Past Is Hurting Your Present

When Your Past Is Hurting Your Present

Author: Sue Augustine
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers
ISBN: 0736936823
Pages: 288
Year: 2005-08-01
Bestselling author Sue Augustine leads the reader along a clear, manageable path to reconciliation with a painful past. Relying on biblical principles and using her own heart-rending story, she points the way to a future full of hope. With compassion and empathy--and plenty of "telling-on-herself" humor--she shows readers how to... Identify, release, and change how they respond to the past Overcome the "victim" mentality Set goals for the future with passion and purpose Fears will be conquered and dreams renewed for those seeking to cut loose the baggage of the long ago. A must-read for anyone struggling with a difficult past that is harming their present and crippling their future.
The Five Things We Cannot Change

The Five Things We Cannot Change

Author: David Richo
Publisher: Shambhala Publications
ISBN: 0834822261
Pages: 192
Year: 2006-06-13
Why is it that despite our best efforts, many of us remain fundamentally unhappy and unfulfilled in our lives? In this provocative and inspiring book, David Richo distills thirty years of experience as a therapist to explain the underlying roots of unhappiness—and the surprising secret to finding freedom and fulfillment. There are certain facts of life that we cannot change—the unavoidable "givens" of human existence: (1) everything changes and ends, (2) things do not always go according to plan, (3) life is not always fair, (4) pain is a part of life, and (5) people are not loving and loyal all the time. Richo shows us that by dropping our deep-seated resistance to these givens, we can find liberation and discover the true richness that life has to offer. Blending Western psychology and Eastern spirituality, including practical exercises, Richo shows us how to open up to our lives—including to what is frightening, painful, or disappointing—and discover our greatest gifts.
You Are Not What You Think

You Are Not What You Think

Author: David Richo
Publisher: Shambhala Publications
ISBN: 0834803232
Pages: 192
Year: 2015-12-29
A healthy ego is necessary to achieving our goals, to building healthy relationships, and to leading a satisfying and meaningful life. But an ego that gets too big—that becomes egotism—can actually inhibit all those wonderful possibilities. In this luminous guide, David Richo offers wisdom from psychology, myth, and spiritual traditions to show us how to let go of the kind of ego that causes suffering for ourselves and others. As a wonderful result, we gain self-confidence and find new ways to love too. It’s not a matter of getting rid of ego but of seeing through it. When we learn to do that, Dave says, we’ll discover the core of indestructible goodness in our enlightened nature. Then, when we see "big ego" expressed in ourselves or others, we begin to regard it with compassion rather than disdain. We are truly, Dave shows, not what we think but much, much more.
Relationship Saboteurs

Relationship Saboteurs

Author: Randi Gunther
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
ISBN: 1608820432
Pages: 224
Year: 2010-06-03
Do you seek a healthy romantic relationship, but continue to find yourself repeating the same negative behaviors that may have ended your relationships in the past? Have you already identified destructive patterns, yet continue to repeat them despite your desire for a strong and lasting romantic relationship? If so, you are not alone. Relationship Saboteurs is an easy-to-follow guide that will help you identify and end your relationship-destroying tendencies once and for all. The book explores the ten most common relationship-undermining behaviors and shows you how to overcome them. By understanding and addressing the patterns that erode romance, you can learn to stop sabotaging your love life and prepare yourself for the healthy romantic relationship you deserve. Learn to overcome these toxic emotions and behaviors: •Insecurity•Needing to control •Fear of intimacy •Needing to win •Pessimism •Needing to be center stage •Addictions •Martyrdom •Defensiveness •Breaking trust
How to Be an Adult in Love

How to Be an Adult in Love

Author: David Richo
Publisher: Shambhala Publications
ISBN: 0834828499
Pages: 272
Year: 2014-01-07
We were made to love and be loved. Loving ourselves and others is in our genetic code. It’s nothing other than the purpose of our lives—but knowing that doesn’t make it easy to do. We may find it a challenge to love ourselves. We may have a hard time letting love in from others. We’re often afraid of getting hurt. It is also sometimes scary for us to share love with those around us—and love that isn't shared leaves us feeling flat and unfulfilled. David Richo provides the tools here for learning how to love in evolved adult ways—beginning with getting past the barriers that keep us from loving ourselves, then showing how we can learn to open to love others. He provides wisdom from Buddhism, psychology, and a range of spiritual traditions, along with a wealth of practices both for avoiding the pitfalls that can occur in love relationships and for enhancing the way love shows up in our lives. He then leads us on to love’s inevitable outcome: developing a heart that loves universally and indiscriminately. This transcendent and unconditional love isn’t just for a heroic few, Dave shows, it’s everyone’s magnificent calling.
The Power of Grace

The Power of Grace

Author: David Richo
Publisher: Shambhala Publications
ISBN: 0834830019
Pages: 192
Year: 2014-10-14
Perhaps you’ve had one of those moments when everything, quite unexpectedly, simply falls into place; or, when you’ve been puzzling over an impossible question and—pow!—the answer suddenly arises, seemingly out of nowhere. These and other such experiences are not caused by our efforts. They are moments of grace, the gift dimension of life. Grace is generally associated with religion, but, as Dave Richo shows, you don’t need to be religious to notice—and benefit from—this help from outside yourself that’s being offered to you in every moment. Dave provides teachings and helpful practices that show us how to open our eyes to the sources of grace everywhere and in everyone. When we open ourselves to grace, we begin to see it work wonders in our lives—and we become conduits of its power to others.
Couple Skills

Couple Skills

Author: Matthew McKay, Patrick Fanning, Kim Paleg
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
ISBN: 1608824195
Pages: 328
Year: 2006-12-01
Love takes work, but, when it comes to relationships, it pays to work smarter. Couple Skills, Second Edition, revised and updated from the therapist-recommended classic, will show you how to work smarter in your relationship. You'll learn to improve communication, cope better with problems, and resolve conflicts with the one you love in healthy and creative ways. Each chapter teaches you an essential skill that supports greater relationship satisfaction and deeper intimacy. New to this edition is a chapter on using acceptance skills, developed from the revolutionary new acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). These new approaches will help you to accept your partner's feelings (and your own emotions) without judgment. Using these techniques will help you decide what you really value in your relationship and then commit to acting in ways that further those values every day.